To My Children on November 8th, 2016: I Cast My Vote for You

I wasn’t going to share anything here today. Your mind has been made. You have heard what you have wanted to hear.

Your vote in this historic election has been cast, (I hope), whether with enthusiasm or dread.

And I must believe, though we might strongly disagree, that your heart is in the right place. Your heart only knows what you have lived. What you have felt. What you have seen.

As has my own.

I am not here to sway you; it is too late for that anyhow. Furthermore, I am uncertain I could withstand any further arguing.

I simply want to remember this day for the moment that it was. I want my children to have a record, because they will likely forget the day I took all three of them with me to the polls. They won’t remember the stickers the pressed onto their cheeks, or the tears that hung on mine.

And so, my dear children, because tonight you’ve asked to stay up late with me, I will make hot chocolate and let you pop popcorn. I will snuggle you close as I hold my breath.

Tomorrow we will wake and walk in love, no matter who wins tonight. And years from now you might understand what it meant to me to write these words with trembling hands:

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This #nastywoman cast her ballot today with her daughter on her hip and tears rolling down her cheeks. For the rest of my life, I will remember this day as we stood together and stood with her.

When my two boys asked why I was crying as we walked away from the polls, I explained that it is because I’m with her…

I’m with her because when I was a child, I walked across the border from my hometown into Mexico and looked into the eyes of girls who looked like me. I wondered why their childhood looked so differently from my own, when clearly our hearts looked so alike.

I’m with her because when I was just a teenage girl, cowards tried to violate me. Because when I had my day in court, the men before me asked what I was wearing. Why I didn’t run. What I did to ask for it, before setting all three of those men free.

I’m with her because of all the moments that a man has pushed me down and tried to stamp out my spirit. For all the memories I hold of people puffing out their chests to appear bigger than I, as they tried to convince me that I was weak.

I’m with her for a million reasons; today they came spilling forth from my soul and cascaded across my cheeks. Tear by tear I released them. Reasons I had buried. Reasons held so deep.

But most of all I am with her because I need all three of my children to see: Even when monsters stomp and roar and shout and shove, goodness rises up courageously.

Goodness stands tall and does not waver.

Goodness holds onto dignity, which can never be stripped away.

Goodness keeps showing up, no matter how tattered or tired or torn; goodness persists.

And today I truly understood how it is that goodness always prevails.

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6 thoughts on “To My Children on November 8th, 2016: I Cast My Vote for You

  1. Oh Aimee! My heart breaks and sobs for your past, however it sings that you have become such a beautiful soul despite your past. Your babies are so damn lucky to have you for their mama! Xo

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  2. Oh my strong amazing friend. You are the good. I came to your blog tonight because I needed good. Your words always calm me and give me hope. And while this was written before the results, your words still soothe me. Going to look for the good everywhere.

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