It happens to me every year. Christmas arrives tied up neatly with ribbon and wonder, yet when the paper is crumpled and cast away, and the time arrives to take down the tree, I find myself counting down the days to the new year with the slightest sense of sorrow. Perhaps it is the cultural … More Why I’m Ditching Resolutions and Setting Intentions for the New Year Instead
Of course, there is little we can do to slow down the passage of time. At best, we can commit to navigating gracefully, as we try to be present in the beautiful moments, grateful through the mundane, and patient through the trials. Because the truth is, time never really felt tangible until we had our children, did it? But when each year brings tremendous growth that we can pencil in like marking height against the wall, it is nearly impossible to ignore how fleeting time can be. … More Beyond Babies: What Comes Next?
And this woman, this mother who seemed to know my pain though I had not spoken of it, stood and held me as though she was embracing a younger version of herself. She let me get it all out, and when I could catch the air again, smiled her pleasant smile, assured me that I was doing my best, and patted my baby goodbye. It was one of the strangest moments of my life, and yet nothing had ever felt more serendipitous. I never saw her again, but I truly believe she crossed my path that day to deliver a message I desperately needed to hear. … More It Does Not Get Easier, But You Do Get Better
I see you, even though you are having a hard time seeing yourself.
You stand before the toothpaste-splattered mirror at the end of the day searching hard for the spirit of the woman who was once housed by this body, only now all you see are the visible signs of exhaustion from the routine. A heart swelling full of love, yet pierced by the fragments of your lingering dreams.
Beneath the dark-circled eyes, the hands wrinkled under the weight of all their giving, the body weary from a life well lived, you wonder, is she there — the girl that I used to be? … More Finding Your Light: An Open Letter to the Mama Lost to Motherhood
I haven’t really known where to go since my last post. The one where I revealed one of my darkest truths. The one where I decided to spill it out like a scattered mess upon the floor, without sweeping it back under a rug; leaving it out for anyone to stumble upon. … More Broken Birds Keep Singing: Parenting & Writing After Grief
Motherhood.There is a part that no one will tell you. At least, no one told me.
Or if they did, perhaps I just wasn’t ready to listen.
It is going to break you wide open. It is going to crack you right in two. … More The Part About Motherhood That No One Will Tell You
All week I have envisioned sharing with you my wonderful wisdom on how to stay organized, calm, and centered throughout your week.
…And then this week went to hell and I quickly realized that I am not the authority on organization. AT ALL.
… More A More Blissful Week – Lessons In What NOT To Do
I think I am grieving the firsts because, with each one that my baby girl reaches, it is one step closer to the end of this season in my life. One step closer to the end of mothering. And yes, we will mother them forever, but not in this way. Not in this way that can consume our every moment, that can render us lost in the gravity of this love. I know, it will not be this way forever. … More There Will Never Be Another Newborn
The weight of growing, and birthing, and nurturing, and giving, and working, and caring, and loving, and raising — I can’t carry it all. There is no place within me left to hold it all in. I am teetering on an edge and I feel that I am about to slip down into the canyon lying in wait below me, anticipating my fall, eager to mock me and my failure. … More Letting Go
I was crouching outside of a public bathroom stall, a bag of thirty library books precariously hanging from my shoulder (homeschoolers are book hoarders), trying to calm my screaming 3-year-old enough to teach him how to unlock the stall and let me in to help. He had decided he was going into the stall alone … More Do You Need Some Help? (An Encounter in a Public Bathroom)