When Your Friend Is Grieving On Mother’s Day

As Mother’s Day approaches, I have been reflecting upon what happened last year.

I was newly pregnant, and my dear friend had just had a miscarriage. Though I had experienced my own miscarriage before going on to have my first two children, I could not fully understand my friend’s grief as she navigated the stormy waters of infertility.

What happened that day created a distance between us, and surely deepened the wounds in her own heart; however, I am thankful that we have come through this stronger and even closer to one another.

With my friend’s blessing, I have shared our story on Austin Mom’s Blog today. She hopes the message will reach other moms struggling and hurting this Mother’s Day, and inspire the friends of those grieving to show up and be present for their pain.

“Happy Mother’s Day.” The text arrived during a joyful day of celebrating with my husband and two young boys. As soon as I saw it, sickness swelled in my stomach, and it wasn’t just the 10-week, new pregnancy making me feel ill. It was heartbreak for the friend on the other end of the message. The friend who had miscarried just a few months before.

I stood frozen, phone in my hand, wondering how to best respond. Typing and deleting, typing and deleting, a short “Thank you <3” was finally sent. I wanted to say so much more, but didn’t, for fear of wounding her already grieving heart. My inability to find the right words haunted me for days, but surely did not compare to how much my silence hurt her.”

To read the rest, please visit Austin Moms Blog.

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14 thoughts on “When Your Friend Is Grieving On Mother’s Day

  1. My Husband’s mother passed away a few years ago and Mother’s Day has ALWAYS been difficult for him since that day. I try to distract him now that we have our own kids by giving them little tasks to do for me all day, but you can tell he still mourns her on that day. Great post.

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    1. I’m so sorry for his loss, Juliet. Grief is such a stormy sea to navigate — it ebbs and flows and swells and recedes, but it doesn’t ever quite leave, does it? Happy Mother’s Day to you.

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  2. I read the rest and absolutely loved this post. (Sharing it tomorrow on my page).

    I’ve been on both ends of this and it’s so hard. You’re totally right— we need to remember that silence is not the answer and we can’t sweep it under the rug, and we shouldn’t want to.
    This post gave me all the feels. Thank you so much for sharing, and to your friend for allowing you to share it.

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    1. Andi, thank you so much for helping to spread this message by sharing it on your page. I feel absolutely honored that you chose to do so! Thank you — from both my friend and myself. We are so grateful!

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  3. Oh my word, I have experienced such a very similar situation, and it was gut-wrenchingly hard. I love that you’ve shared this story and pray it will bless so many others. You’re full of such beautiful gifts, friend.

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  4. Mother’s Day can be so hard for so many people… it was hard for me when I was going through infertility treatments, it’s hard for my best friend who has lost four babies… for my other best friend who so badly wants to be a mom but hasn’t married yet… another friend whose mom just died… It’s hard to know how to handle it, because everyone seems to need it to be handled differently. At least your heart was absolutely in the right place, and I’m glad you and your friend were able to have a good talk about it. Happy Mother’s Day, Aimee!

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    1. You are so right Katie – so many of us are carrying hidden hurts and hardships. I am sorry for the pain you have carried, and for the pain of your friends. Surely you are a great comfort to them all. Happy Mother’s Day to you, too!

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